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1 Notes

I have a weakness for beards.

I have a weakness for beards.

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Progress Report

I still have a bad attitude!

Hate lot’s of things!

Real mad!

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Listing

I didn’t do the traditional Birthday weird/awesome list this year. Here are some things I can cross off my list now that I am circling the sun for the 35th time.

I no longer need to:

1. Have a man (professional dog walker) spit in my face during intercourse

2. Date a (mostly still) married person

3. Engage in any kind of sexual activity with any kind of chef at a restaurant I want to keep eating at (westward. Damn. Can only eat outside)

4. Agree to have drinks with the guitarist of a band I have LOVED since 2001 only to find out what a douce he is and never be able to listen to When I Pretend To Fall again

5. Take my pants off for a sound designer no matter what country we are in or how adorable his tool belt is

6. Text said sound designer to ask if the kayak lessons he offered are still valid post Germanic sex times

7. Eat a lobster again (this one is not a romance fail but once was enough)

8. Continue to see one of TD’s sous chefs just for the free brunch at Lola’s

9. Believe a word Mr. Allen ever said to me

10. Give a shit

276 Notes

oldloves:

Porfirio Rubirosa married his fourth wife, American heiress Barbara Hutton, in 1953. Hutton wore black and carried a scotch and soda down the aisle. 

Rubirosa’s ex-girlfriend Zsa Zsa Gabor told newspaper reporters she gave the marriage six months and that in a couple of weeks “this man will be after me again.”

Rubirosa and Hutton separated after 53 days.  

In the settlement Rubirosa received a coffee plantation in the Dominican Republic, polo ponies, 2.5 million dollars in cash, and a B-52 plane.

Rubirosa promptly flew the plane West to win back Gabor. 

(Vanity Fair)

I plan to carry scotch and soda down the aisle.

15233 Notes

nevver:

Taste the emptiness

1 Notes

These legs are single.

These legs are single.

174161 Notes

gentle-twig:

amycakesdankydank:

SAME

this is the most iconic meal after the last supper

1 Notes

One of my dearest childhood friends is in town performing in Book of Mormon. We are 34. The rest of the cast is 24. We have been trying to keep up. Those kids can drink. I am too old for this.

One of my dearest childhood friends is in town performing in Book of Mormon. We are 34. The rest of the cast is 24. We have been trying to keep up. Those kids can drink. I am too old for this.

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Normally a baby shower should be the last place you run into someone you used to make out with.
#textsfrommysister

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Sorry for drinking all your drinks last night… I am regretting it now…
#textsfrommysister